5 Effective Communication Strategies for Dealing with Difficult Patrons

Are you ready to dive into the world of effective communication strategies for dealing with difficult patrons? Whether you're a seasoned library staff member or just starting out, mastering the art of communication is key to navigating those tricky interactions with patrons who might be a little... well, difficult. So, grab your favorite mug of coffee or tea, and let's get started!

Picture this: you're at the circulation desk, when suddenly, a patron approaches with a complaint. No problem, you talk to them about it and suddenly the conversation starts getting out of control. The patron is complaining about a very standard policy and now you feel like the conversation is getting out of hand. Sound familiar? 

Difficult patrons come in all shapes and sizes. Dealing with them can feel like walking on eggshells. Sometimes, it’s challenging to find the right words or actions to diffuse a tense situation, leaving you feeling on edge and overwhelmed, never knowing when the next confrontation might arise. 

Today, I want to share with you 5 effective communication strategies for dealing with difficult patrons: 

1. Listen actively and empathetically:

I know, I know… you are probably saying, that is all I do, listen. But trust me when I say, this is very important. Taking a full deep breath when a difficult patron walks in and providing them your full attention will be the key to what happens next in the conversation. Give them your full attention without interrupting, and try to place yourself in their shoes. I know it might be difficult, especially if what they are saying is unreasonable. Think about it this way, what they are saying to you, it's their truth, not yours, but theirs. Approaching the conversation from that side will make all the difference. 

2. Can’t change what is out of our control: 

We need to accept the fact that we can’t change the way they think or feel about a situation.

When dealing with difficult people, we need to accept that we can’t change their way of thinking. But what we can do is change our perspective of the situation. This doesn’t mean that we get to accept everything they say or make changes to policies just because someone is complaining about it. But we need to accept the fact that we can’t change the way they think or feel about a situation. We in turn can change how we react to that situation, to their complaint. By deciding how we are going to react or respond to the situation, we can focus on not letting it get to us. 

3. It’s not about you: 

A lot of times we take personally what others say to us. We take it to heart and we let it impact us. Sometimes we let it impact us all day. While the patron might complain about something related to the library that deals with you, there is a huge chance that there is a deeper and bigger issue brewing for them that has nothing to do with you. Approaching a difficult conversation from that perspective can make a difference when addressing difficult conversations. 

4. Stay calm and composed:

Yes, here is another one that you probably heard about before. But the reality is that they want a reaction out of you. They want to see you respond to their unrealistic request or complaint. I know it's easier said than done. Just keep in mind that by responding with rage or even a higher tone of voice, you are giving them what they were searching for, a response out of you. This is their way of knowing that they are in control and have won. 

5. Offer choices and alternatives: 

Focus on finding offering choices and letting the individual decide the outcome of the situation. This makes them feel in control. For them it is all about control. By providing choices, you are giving them the illusion of control. You can also focus on finding alternative solutions that address their concerns, so that they feel heard and seen. 

Without effective communication strategies, conflicts escalate, tempers flare, and the once-peaceful atmosphere turns into one filled with frustration and resentment. By implementing these strategies, library staff can transform tense interactions into opportunities for connection and resolution.

Difficult patrons feel heard and valued, conflicts are resolved amicably, and the library remains a welcoming haven for all who enter its doors. Plus, staff morale receives a boost as confidence grows in handling challenging situations with grace and professionalism.